childhood memories and grown up dreams
by eponnia
Summary: AU. Diana and Gilbert are siblings. Everything and nothing changes. [Diana-centric with mostly Shirbert and a healthy dose of Fiana. Sullivan miniseriesverse one-shot.]


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Lucy Maud Montgomery based Gilbert and Diana on two of her friends in real life – brother and sister Will and Laura Pritchard. So how would Gilbert and Anne's journey have altered if he and Diana had been siblings?**

 **At the very least, they could pass as being related based their physical descriptions in the books, and in the 1985/1987/2000 Kevin Sullivan miniseries, they really do look like they could be siblings. I will be taking the parental characters from both Gilbert and Diana's canonical families with the most appearances – John Blythe and Mrs. Barry – and combining the families for the sake of this fic.**

 **This is heavily influenced by the Kevin Sullivan miniseries, everything except** _ **Road to Avonlea**_ **and** _ **A New Beginning**_ **(because I haven't seen either).**

* * *

 _"A brother shares childhood memories and grown up dreams."_

– Unknown

* * *

" _Gilbert_!"

An eight-year-old Diana Blythe's gaze flies up from her book, her eleven-year-old brother lowering his novel as their mother towers over them.

"Go help your father with the cows!" Elizabeth Blythe orders, a hand on the curve of her stomach beneath her maternity corset. "Do you want him to have more chest pains and die in the fields while you are wasting your time _reading_?"

"No, Mother," Gilbert replies, "but-"

"Out! _Now_!" she snaps, and Gilbert obeys. As the eldest Blythe child leaves the parlor, their mother turns her attention to Diana. "You're not off the hook, young lady! You _and_ your brother spend far too much of your time reading. Back to your sewing!"

Diana is gathering her embroidery hoop to continue her attempts in embellishing a handkerchief when Gilbert bursts through the door. " _Mother_!"

"What is it?" Mrs. Blythe demands.

"Father fell and he said something about his heart and-"

* * *

"Mother?"

A year later, Diana hurriedly removes her spectacles and shoves her book under a pillow, as her brother speaks up from the sofa beside her. Mrs. Blythe walks into the sitting room with a raised eyebrow, just returning from her bedroom with her husband's empty dinner tray. "What is it now, Gilbert?"

"I was wondering if you'd let me go back to school this year with Diana," he asks quickly, getting to his feet to stand wide-eyed before his mother.

Her eyes flash as the months-old Minnie May wails from the nursery, and Mrs. Blythe sets down the tray on an end table. "Your father is _bedridden_ and you ask if you can go back to school?"

"I'll do all my school work late at night after chores. And I promise I'll be up before dawn as usual. It won't interfere with my working on the farm–"

Mrs. Blythe slaps her son.

"You _selfish_ boy!" she shrieks as her stunned children stare at her. "We had to fire the few servants we _did_ have, and now we can't even afford anyone to look after Minnie May! You _dare_ to say you want to waste your time _studying_?"

"But Diana still goes to school–"

" _Diana_ isn't one of two people running this farm," Mrs. Barry interrupts. "We can barely pay our one hired hand, and you're telling me you want to _quit_?"

"No, Mother, it isn't that at all," Gilbert protests. "I don't want to fall too far behind in my studies–"

"You will not go back to that school unless I let you!" Mrs. Barry's mouth forms a thin line. "For your impertinence, you will not be having dinner tonight. You might as well head out to the barn straight away."

"Mother–" Diana offers softly.

"Don't meddle!" Mrs. Barry snaps at her eldest daughter. "Out, Gilbert!"

Late that evening, Diana quietly knocks on Gilbert's bedroom door. "Gil?" she whispers. "It's me."

"Come in."

She eases open the door, freezing when the hinges creak, but their mother does not come storming into the hall. Diana closes the door as gently as she can behind her before turning to her brother. In the lamplight, she can see a bruise forming on Gilbert's cheek.

"I snuck a couple of rolls for you," she says, holding out the napkin containing the bread.

"Thanks, Di," her exhausted brother says gratefully.

"I should go before Mother hears us talking," she murmurs. "But if you want, you can study my books when school starts again."

"Thanks, but Mother will find out," he says flatly. "She always does."

* * *

The family is heading across the lawn at a church picnic a year later when Diana spots Marilla Cuthbert talking to the minister's wife; a thin girl stands beside the Blythes' neighbor, clad in a plain dress with two red braids under a simple straw hat.

"Good afternoon, Marilla," John Blythe calls.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Blythe," Marilla replies, inclining her head. "Mrs. Blythe."

"Miss Cuthbert," Mrs. Blythe says with forced politeness. "And who is this?" she says snidely, looking at the bright-haired girl.

"This is Anne Shirley," Marilla explains as the girl smiles. "Anne, this is the Blythe family."

"I'm Gilbert," Diana's brother says, boldly holding out a hand with a grin.

"Nice to meet you," the girl says coolly, meeting Gilbert's gaze. As she shakes his hand, he winks at her, and Anne lifts her chin.

"How old are you, Miss Shirley?" Mrs. Blythe asks, her dark eyes darting between her son and Anne.

"Eleven."

"Diana is the same age," Mr. Blythe says kindly as his eldest daughter extends a gloved hand. "All three of you will most likely be in the same class this year," Mr. Blythe adds, and Gilbert flushes as his father claps a hand on his son's shoulder. "My boy had to take a couple of years off school to help on the farm, but I'm sure you all will do just fine."

"I'm sure they will," Marilla says evenly.

In the silence that follows, Anne blurts out, "Marilla, may I be excused to try ice cream? I've never sampled it before, you see, and I've always envisioned how utterly _glorious_ it would taste, and-"

"Run along, child," Marilla says with a sigh, but a corner of her mouth turns up. "Why don't you head over to the refreshments table with Diana?"

Diana glances at her mother, but it is her father who nods and smiles. "Go ahead," Mr. Blythe says, and laughs good-naturedly as Anne darts away, Diana hurrying to catch her.

* * *

Mr. Philips is droning about something on the first day of school when, out of the corner of her eye, Diana sees Gilbert toss a small, rolled-up scrap of paper at Anne.

The redhead ignores him.

He throws another tiny, wadded-up ball at Anne, disregarding Diana's warning look directed at him. Anne purses her lips and looks resolutely ahead.

"Hey, carrots," he whispers teasingly. Diana tries to catch Gilbert's attention, mouthing _stop_ to her brother as a stiff Anne turns pale. " _Carrots_!" Diana can see all of Anne's indignation boiling just beneath the surface, and the redhead looks ready to explode. Then, with a smirk, he tugs on one of her braids.

Before Diana can react, Anne is on her feet and reaching for Gilbert's slate.

As shards of thin, dark grey stone clatter to the floor, Mr. Philips swoops in. Diana is glad that her brother tries to take the blame for the incident, but their teacher still makes Anne write lines on the chalkboard. Diana can barely focus as the lessons continue, but eventually her friend – avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room, including Diana – returns to her seat. After an excruciatingly long day, school finally ends; Diana hurries to follow Anne, who heads for the door as if the building is on fire. "Anne," Gilbert calls, but the redhead keeps walking.

Both the Blythes hurry to catch up to the thin girl, and Diana speaks up. "Anne, _please_ wait." Only at her voice does Anne stop, but she doesn't look at the siblings.

"I'm truly sorry for what I said about your hair," Gilbert offers genuinely as their classmates pass by, whispering and staring and pointing. Anne lifts her chin as Gilbert continues. "It was stupid of me."

Anne raises an eyebrow at his comment, but stays silent.

"Can we forget it happened?" Gilbert asks sincerely, looking hopefully at Diana's friend.

Without a word, Anne marches away down the road.

"I'll meet you at home," Diana tells her brother quickly as she dashes to her friend's side. " _Anne_ ," she says breathlessly.

"I can't forgive him," Anne whispers, voice trembling. "I _can't_." She swallows hard. "Mrs. Hammond used to…" As she trails off, Anne goes even paler than before.

Diana has heard rumors of Anne's past; Mrs. Lynde made sure all of Avonlea knew the information available, true or otherwise, about the orphan the Cuthberts took in. Aside from the whispers of poison in wells or houses burning down, she is aware of the frightening gossip concerning Anne's previous homes, and Diana's mouth goes dry.

"Nothing will convince me to forgive him." Anne hurries on, quickly swiping at the tears that dare to fall down her cheeks.

Diana follows.

* * *

"Gil?"

On a bitterly cold night in January, Diana reaches out to put a hand on Minnie May's forehead; the younger girl's skin is hot to the touch as the three-year-old coughs violently once again. " _Gilbert_!"

"He's out in the barn," explains Mary Joe, the maid Mrs. Blythe had insisted on hiring just so they could boast they had a household servant.

"Stay with her," Diana says as her younger sister struggles to breathe. The elder girl throws on a coat and flies out of the house, slogging through the snow as she calls her brother's name.

"Minnie May is worse!" she gasps as he shoves open the barn door.

"How so?" the fourteen-year-old asks.

"She won't stop coughing, but now she can hardly breathe!"

"Sounds like croup," Gilbert says as he closes the heavy door behind them. "I heard Uncle Dave tell Father about a bad case in Four Winds Point."

"Can't you go for the doctor?"

"Dr. Blair and Dr. Spencer are at the rally," Gilbert counters as they head back to the house. "And Mother and Father took the buggy to Charlottetown."

"What about the plow horses?" Diana asks as they push through the last few feet of snow. "Couldn't you ride one?"

"Mark threw a shoe today. And Luke won't touch his feed, which is never a good sign," Gilbert says grimly as they walk up the back steps. "Let's see if Mary Joe knows what to do."

But the servant is only hovering helplessly by Minnie May as the three-year-old cries and gasps for air. "Rachel Lynde would how to treat this," Gilbert says, kneeling down beside his youngest sister and feeling her forehead. "But I know for a fact that she's gone to Charlottetown as well." He meets his eldest sister's gaze. "I do know of someone who will still be at home. I can almost guarantee it."

Tears well in Diana's eyes as she helplessly watches Minnie May cough. "Who?"

"Matthew Cuthbert."

"Do you think he'd know how to help?"

"Maybe not, but he can go for a doctor. Mary Joe, heat up some water on the stove. I'll stay here and see if I can remember anything Uncle Dave said. Diana, you go and ask Matthew Cuthbert. And hurry, every moment counts!"

It seems to take an eternity to reach Green Gables, and her lungs are burning when she runs through the front door. But her prayers are answered when she finds Matthew in the sitting room with Anne; as Diana weeps through her predicament, Matthew silently gets up and heads for the door.

"Come on, Diana," Anne says matter-of-factly, putting on her coat. "I know exactly what to do."

"Our uncle's a doctor in Four Winds Point," Diana explains, tears streaking her cheeks. "Gil said he'd try to remember what Uncle Dave said while I came here."

"Well, all the memories in the world won't help without ipecac," Anne says as she pulls the bottle out of the medicine cabinet. "After caring for so many twins, I've treated case after case of croup. If we reach Minnie May before it's too late–"

Diana gasps out a sob.

"–this medicine should do the trick," Anne continues evenly.

The single mile between Green Gables and the Blythe farm has never seemed so great, but the two girls finally reach the house. Diana can almost hear her mother shrieking about tracking snow inside, but the eleven-year-old focuses instead on her estranged friend and her suffocating sister.

"She has croup, alright," Anne says, kneeling beside Gilbert to put a hand on Minnie May's forehead. "But it's not the worst case I've seen." As the redhead unscrews the medicine bottle, she glances into the kitchen and sees the pot of boiling water on the stove. "I'm glad Mary Joe had enough imagination to heat some water."

"I told her to do that," Gilbert offers, but the fourteen-year-old boy continues before Anne can reply. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Get a spoon for the medicine, a bowl for your sister to vomit the mucus into, and pillows to prop her up," Anne says as Minnie May wheezes, and Gilbert, Mary Joe, and Diana scramble to obey. "She's having enough trouble breathing as it is, and I don't want her choking on the ipecac."

It is not until three in the morning that Matthew and the doctor finally arrive, but Minnie May is asleep and breathing more easily. The doctor departs after looking over the three-year-old and praising Anne; when Matthew takes the exhausted redhead back to Green Gables, the Blythe siblings and Mary Joe are left alone in the quiet house. After ensuring that Minnie May isn't about to relapse, the maid heads for her room; with a yawn, Diana is about to go to bed herself, but notices the contemplative, serious expression on her brother's face.

"Gil?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

He sighs. "Yes. I just…" He pauses as he watches Minnie May slumber quietly from the sofa. "I just felt so _helpless_."

"What do you mean?"

"Anne walked in and immediately had everything under control. All I did was get pillows."

"She did say if Minnie May wasn't propped up–" Diana begins.

"I know, I know. But…" He trails off. "I felt so useless, and powerless, and _weak_. I wanted to be the one who knew to prescribe the ipecac. I wanted to be the one to save our sister instead of relying on other people. I didn't want to be standing by, I wanted–" He pauses. "I wanted to _do_ something."

"Maybe you should become a doctor like Uncle Dave," Diana murmurs drowsily, half-serious.

Gilbert watches their youngest sister for a long moment. "Perhaps." He sighs. "Perhaps I will."

* * *

Diana tries not to be jealous when Gilbert and Anne tie for first place in their Queens' entrance exams.

She willingly admits school has never been her passion; her brother, on the other hand, excels in every subject and aces every test. But at fourteen, Diana must begin learning how to raise a family, run a grand estate – Providence willing she end up in the splendid home of Mrs. Blythe's dreams – and manage a husband. Once, her father tries to teach her how to balance a ledger, but Diana does not have a head for numbers. With a smile, Mr. Blythe pats her hand after only a few minutes and says _you needn't worry about this_ and _your husband will take care of it_ and _go back to your sewing, darling_.

"Teach me, Gil," she says that evening after their parents have gone to bed, clutching the ledger she swiped from their father's desk. "Teach me how to do this. I don't want to rely on someone else."

She tries, she really does, but it seems a century has passed and she still is no closer to her goal. "Let me explain it a different way," Gilbert says, and soon everything falls into place.

"You'll make a wonderful teacher," she tells her brother after their father's ledger is safely back in his desk. "Much better than Mr. Philips."

"I hope so. Anne said–" But Gilbert stops himself.

"Anne said what?" Diana prompts with a grin.

"Nothing," her brother replies, but he can't hide his smile.

So Diana is not surprised when she learns Gilbert had asked to escort Anne to the White Sands concert. She _is_ astonished, however, when Anne goes through Diana to say she had changed her mind.

Diana doesn't know how to tell Gilbert in the week leading up to the concert. He has started a habit of whistling cheerfully, something Ruby Gillis said was a sign a man was in love. What kind of sister is she to break her brother's heart concerning the girl he clearly adores? But then what kind of bosom friend is she not to relay the information promised to her? Yet it is only fair, Diana decides, that Gilbert be aware of Anne's decision before he drives up to Green Gables, blissfully ignorant on the morning of the concert, and not have to deal with the fresh humiliation all throughout the day at White Sands.

Three days before he is to drive Anne to the hotel, Diana corners her whistling brother with a resigned heart.

"Gil?"

"Yes?" he says distractedly, focusing on cleaning dirt out of one of the driving horse's hooves.

"Anne wanted me to tell you something."

The quiet smile that spreads across his face at Anne's name nearly causes Diana turn and run. Part of her wonders if she should make Anne tell Gilbert _herself_ after all. But Diana also doesn't want her brother's heart shattered by her best friend's tongue, a weapon that can be as sharp as Rachel Lynde's when Anne's temper gets the better of her.

"She said…" Diana bites her lip. "She said she said she has decided not to attend the White Sands concert with you."

Gilbert pauses, not looking up at his sister. "Did she tell you why?" he inquires, going back to carefully removing dried mud from the horse's hoof.

"No," Diana replies honestly. "I'm sorry."

Gilbert doesn't respond.

"Mother says supper will be ready soon," she offers awkwardly.

"Alright," her brother says flatly. When Diana leaves the barn, she is keenly aware of the silence that follows her, and hopes Anne hasn't stamped out every inclination Gilbert has to whistle when thinking of her.

Diana wonders if he will skip the concert altogether, and is both surprised and pleased when she sees her family's driving horse and driving buggy outside White Sands. But when she walks into the hotel with Anne and the Andrews siblings, Josie Pye is hanging on Gilbert's arm in the center of the lobby.

Diana hasn't heard Gilbert whistle in four days, but after Anne's captivating rendition of _The Highwayman_ , he gets up from his seat beside Diana and gives Anne a standing ovation. Diana follows his example, and soon the entire room is on their feet; even Josie stands and claps half-heartedly because everyone else is doing the same. But after Anne's encore and everyone starts crowding around her to pay their compliments, Diana sees her brother in the hallway arguing with Josie. Over the noise of the room, Diana can't hear what they are saying, but she can see the name _Anne_ forming on both their lips every so often. Josie is scornful as usual, but Gilbert seems defensive, and Diana's heart leaps in her throat on her friend's behalf.

"Did you tell Gilbert what I said?" Anne says in a low voice, reaching for Diana's arm.

"I didn't get a chance," Diana lies, taking a breath to prompt her friend to talk to Gilbert herself. But then Anne is whisked away by Mrs. Evans, and Diana's heart sinks as Josie and Gilbert march off in opposite directions, with her brother headed for the door. Diana is about to follow and force him and Anne to talk, but then her friend is excusing herself from Mrs. Evans and brushing past Diana. Her raven-haired friend waits inside, making small talk with Jane Andrews and wondering what flowery words Anne is using to apologize and if Gilbert is forgiving her, all in a romantic conversation on the steps of the grand hotel.

But Anne comes back alone.

* * *

And just like that, Anne and Gilbert are off to Queen's, and Diana is left in Avonlea.

Life in the small town is much quieter without Anne's ramblings and mistakes and joy for life, and minus Gilbert's levelheadedness and jokes and steady determination. Diana focuses on keeping an eye on Minnie May, not complicating her father's already busy schedule as he keeps the farm afloat without Gilbert, and following her mother's strict orders without incurring Mrs. Blythe's wrath. The year without her brother or friend drags on as slow as molasses.

But then she _notices_ Fred Wright.

He's started watching her at church from across the pews, and two weeks pass before he says anything more than _good day, Miss Blythe_ and _lovely weather we're having_. Even if it takes him over a month to ask to walk her home from the post office, she doesn't mind. She's never been the thinnest girl in Avonlea, her hair tends to be bushy, and she's taller than she would like. But Fred is sweet and kind and quiet, and she finds she enjoys being able to get a word in edgewise. _She_ is now the bold half of a relationship - though of course never daring enough to do anything improper - and after he finally gets up the nerve six months later to ask her father if he can court Diana, _she_ is the one who tells Fred that he is allowed to kiss her.

He only nervously brushes his lips against the back of her gloved hand, but she blushes all the same.

* * *

Finally, _finally_ , Anne and Gilbert come home after completing their courses. Gilbert is to teach at the Avonlea school, Anne to instruct in Carmody, and Diana is simply grateful to have her family and friends with her again.

And then Matthew dies.

Despite the fact he had been one step from becoming a recluse most of his life, Avonlea is stunned by his passing. The Cuthberts had been a fixture in the town as long as anyone could remember, and the old bachelor had always been unfailing kind, if severely shy.

The Blythes approach the grieving family after the service, and after Mr. and Mrs. Blythe offer their condolences, Gilbert steps forward, holding his hat, and says, "I am truly sorry for your loss."

Anne, drained of energy by grief, doesn't respond, but does meet his gaze with red eyes.

"If there's anything we can do," Diana adds, "please let us know."

"Thank you," Anne says in a watery voice.

Then only a few weeks later, Mrs. Lynde mentions that Anne isn't going to college and is to teach in Carmody. Gilbert gets up in the middle of supper when Mr. Blythe tells the news, ignores Mrs. Blythe's protests, and hitches up the horse and buggy. He isn't back until after nightfall, and gets up early the next morning. Diana hears him in the kitchen at dawn the next day, and goes downstairs in her nightgown. "Gil, what on earth is going on?" she demands, holding her shawl tightly around her shoulders.

"I'm heading to White Sands."

" _Now_?"

"I'm seeing if they'll do a swap between Anne and I."

"I don't understand," Diana protests.

"Anne needs the Avonlea school," Gilbert says simply, shrugging on his coat.

"But she has the Carmody school…"

"Exactly." He turns to face his sister. "She's going to have to pay board there. Marilla is going to be here alone, and you know how everyone's saying her eyesight is going."

"Well, yes, and I feel for her, but–"

"Anne's going to have to travel back and forth while _I_ stay here at home and walk only a couple of miles to the Avonlea school." Gilbert pauses in buttoning his coat. "It would be much easier on Anne and Marilla if she could teach here instead of moving."

"But Gil–"

"I'm not leaving behind my only family, Di," he says, suddenly passionate. "You have Mother and Father if I leave, but no one in this house is running a farm by yourself when your eyesight is failing."

"I didn't realize you cared so much about Marilla."

"I don't." He clears his throat. "Well, I don't want to see her suffer if I can do anything about it. That's all."

"Gilbert, if I didn't wish to see Marilla suffer – which I don't want, mind you - I'd bake her a pie, not give up a job."

"It's not for Marilla, exactly. It's for–"

He stops himself, but Diana draws in a breath. "You're giving up the school for Anne."

Her brother heads out the door without another word.

* * *

The day before Anne's book, _Averil's Atonement_ , is rejected by the American magazine, Fred proposes to Diana.

She knows pride is a sin, and prays for Providence to take the feeling away from her. But for a brief moment, _she_ is the one to have something Anne does not. Of course Diana does not want her friend's book unpublished, but the redhead already had a marriage proposal from Charlie Sloane and Diana knows Gilbert is seriously thinking about asking Anne. But there is no string of men falling at Diana's feet, begging for her hand. Fred might not have given a grand speech or proposed in a wildly romantic setting or bought her a ring in Paris, but she accepts when he nervously goes down on one knee on her parents' front porch. She loves him no matter what Anne says, but she also knows she's not getting any other offers.

And then Anne has to show up the next day and nearly spoil everything.

All she does is tease Diana and Fred, but the laughter in her friend's voice stings. A part of Diana wants Anne to be shocked, or demand that Diana turn Fred down, so then Diana could make some speech about loving Fred and that would be that. But Anne's laughter _hurts_ , because it means she thinks her friend's choice of a husband is so beneath Diana that Anne finds the situation humorous.

Who is Anne to dictate how Diana's life plays out?

But she still forgives Anne, because she knows the redhead doesn't intend to be cruel. Anne is as broad-minded as they come about some things, but in other ways she is still as narrow-minded as the day she refused to forgive Gilbert for calling her carrots. So to make up for her pride, Diana edits the cake scene of _Averil's Atonement_ and sends it in for the Rollings Reliable Baking Powder Company's contest in Anne's place.

During the clambake before the wedding, Diana doesn't notice Anne and Gilbert slipping away to the footbridge. But she does notice that her brother comes back alone, and Anne is nowhere to be found.

But there is no one else Diana would want as her maid of honor. So it is Anne who talks with her the night before the wedding, and it is Anne who stands by the minister with her as Fred slips the ring on Diana's finger. During the reception, she catches a glimpse of her brother leaving Christine Stuart's side and following Anne to the barn, and the newly-minted bride sends up a prayer to Providence for Him to help her brother and friend. But Gilbert and Anne do not come back to the reception hand in hand, and avoid standing near each other when Diana and Fred ride off in the buggy with rice in their hair.

A couple of weeks later, Anne goes to Kingsport and Gilbert to Halifax, but Diana has Fred and their first home to focus on. She prays for Gilbert and Anne to see sense concerning each other, but thinks less and less of her brother and friend's relationship when she becomes ill every morning. Nine months later, Gilbert comes home to support Fred as Diana's time draws near. Her brother isn't a doctor yet, so Mrs. Blythe and Rachel Lynde and Marilla don't let Gilbert in the room; but in Diana's few lucid moments between the excruciating pains, she is grateful Fred is not downstairs worrying alone.

But Diana's complete and utter joy in her first days with Fred Jr. is dulled when Gilbert falls ill.

She is not allowed to see her brother when it is confirmed he has scarlet fever; in Diana's still-weakened condition, the doctor and Mrs. Blythe fear that either she or Fred Jr. will catch the deadly disease. All she can do is pray for Gilbert, but he seems to only get worse as time passes. Even the traditionally uptight Mrs. Blythe is inconsolable when the doctor tells them Gilbert might not survive.

Anne comes home from Kingsport with a friend called Katherine Brooke; blissfully unaware of Gilbert's state, the redhead coos over Fred Jr. and swaps stories with delight. An emotionally raw Diana puts on a brave face, not wanting to shatter her friend's mood and having no idea how Anne will take the news. It is Minnie May who innocently reveals Gilbert's condition, and suddenly it looks like Anne can't breathe.

Anne visits Gilbert, able to do what the doctor is still forbidding his sister. So Diana goes down on her knees beside her bed in the house Fred had bought for them, and begs God to save her brother.

The very next morning, Gilbert improves.

It takes time, but he eventually gets back on his feet. Diana spends every minute she can spare visiting him, despite their mother's warnings that Gilbert might still be contagious. And then comes a day when he announces a desire to stroll down to Green Gables, and Diana forbids a worried Mrs. Blythe to accompany him.

Sure enough, the almost-medical student and the fiery-haired writer walk back hand-in-hand.

* * *

It takes five years for Anne and Gilbert to marry.

In that time, Mr. Blythe, Aunt Josephine and Marilla die, Fred and Diana add a daughter to their family, and Gilbert becomes a full-fledged doctor. Mr. Harrison buys Green Gables after the last of the Cuthberts pass away; the beloved, beautiful farmhouse falls into disrepair, but neither Anne nor Gilbert are there to save it, busy working far from Avonlea.

Diana valiantly tries to ignore the war that brews across the sea, but Fred seems intent on dwelling on it. They see young men enlisting every time they go into Carmody or Kingsport or Charlottetown, and Fred grows disillusioned with his safe, comfortable job. Diana, on the other hand, wants him to stay at the bank, wants him to remain at home with their children, and wants him with her instead of going to Europe to die.

The war seems to be the only thing anyone can talk about, so when Anne and Gilbert return to Avonlea, she throws herself into planning their wedding. She might be becoming frivolous, as her mother would say; but focusing about dresses and flowers and seating arrangements distracts her and those around her, however briefly, and keeps her nightmares of Fred dying at bay.

And then he enlists without telling her.

Diana stares at Gilbert, watching her brother's mouth move but barely understanding as he explains what her husband has done. Fred did _exactly_ what she begged him not to, and there is no way around it. Suddenly she is bolting for the car, certain that she can make it to the docks in time and convince her husband not to leave and–

Her brother grabs her arm and says _Fred is probably at sea already_ and _there's no way you'll catch him_ and _there is no chance you can bring him back now_.

Then her world comes crashing down around her, and she collapses on the veranda.

She clutches a fistful of her brother's shirt in her hand when he kneels down, and she _begs_. "Promise me you won't enlist."

He doesn't respond, avoiding her gaze by looking out at the sea.

" _Promise me_."

"I can't," he says honestly, his dark eyes finally meeting hers.

"I almost lost you once to scarlet fever," she whispers. "I can't lose you _and_ Fred to the war."

"You'll survive."

"I'm not strong enough."

"Yes, you are. I'm not saying I'm enlisting today," he adds quickly. "But if I _do_ sign up, you'll be alright. You have the money I gave you from Aunt Josephine's inheritance and–"

"Don't talk like that."

"You have Anne. And Mother will help."

"I can't go on if you and Fred–" She can't force out the rest of the phrase.

"You _have_ to. You can't waste away when you have two children looking to you."

"Gil…" She draws in a shaky breath through her nose. "My nerves can't take discussing this just after Fred abandoned me. Let's talk about this after tea–"

Her brother's jaw sets. "He didn't _abandon_ you," Gilbert says firmly. "He is serving his country. Don't be selfish, Di."

He leaves her kneeling on the veranda.

To make matters worse, Green Gables catches fire a few days later, but it doesn't burn to the ground. Diana sees Providence's hand in protecting the house; its complete destruction might have come close to breaking Anne, her nerves already frayed by Gilbert's enlisting with the Red Cross. In the midst of everything, Diana acknowledges that if God could keep a farmhouse safe, surely He could save Fred and Gilbert.

She spends some of her precious remaining inheritance from Aunt Josephine on her best friend and brother's wedding. Anne has no family – surrogate or otherwise – to foot the bill, she and Gilbert don't have much money between them, and Mr. Blythe died years before seeing his only son wed. The wedding is not as elaborate as Fred and Diana's was - Anne wears a store-bought dress and the cheap tent collapses during the reception – but Diana's brother and sister-in-law still look happy.

Diana takes the children to see their uncle off at the train station, Gilbert looking dashing in his uniform. Anne even leaps onto the moving train to share a searing kiss with her husband of only a few days. Diana is truly grateful she had so many years of marriage spent with Fred before he enlisted, but still feels a pang of jealousy that Anne gets to say goodbye to her husband when Diana did not.

* * *

Only a year has passed when both Gilbert and Fred are announced missing in action.

In her head, Diana knows she is luckier than most. There is a chance her husband is alive, but Josie already had to bury Moody. In her heart, Diana is worried sick, but she remembers her brother urging her to remain strong if only for the sake of his niece and nephew.

So that is what she will do.

She considers attempting to convince Anne not to go on the harebrained scheme the redhead has concocted. But Diana knows she won't be able to keep her friend from searching France for Gilbert, even if she tried. Anne trains as a nurse, joins the Red Cross, and is gone once again. Once again, Diana is left in Avonlea while everyone else departs. She sells the first home Fred had bought for her, focuses on fixing up Green Gables for Anne and Gilbert, looks after her children and her mother, and balances Fred's ledger book as her brother taught her to so long ago. She even gets a job as a seamstress – her first true employment – when both Fred and Gilbert's army pay stops coming through.

She hasn't heard from her husband or brother in ages, but when Anne's letters stop arriving, Diana starts having more nightmares. No longer does she dream of just Fred's and Gilbert's funerals, but now she dreams of Anne's broken body lying somewhere in a ditch, blood staining her pale skin and brilliant hair.

A year after Anne leaves, Diana receives her friend's letter and cries when Anne says she is safe in London with Fred and a child she found in France. Her sister-in-law does mention, however, that they have to save for tickets home on a ship. Diana is ready to send an envelope full of cash when Anne explains in the next line that _letters are opened during war times_ and _someone would only take your money_ and _I have a job here in London, so don't worry about us, Diana._

The waiting nearly drives her mad with worry, but nearly a year later, her desperate, constant prayers are answered when she sees Fred walking up the road.

As she runs out of Green Gables, she can see Fred is missing most of his right arm. But she knows other soldiers have lost worse, has seen it firsthand. She doesn't care what he's missing, as long as he's upright and walking and not in a canvas bag or a coffin.

She meets him on the road and throws herself at her husband. "You're _alive_ ," she sobs. "You're alive and you're safe and you're _here_ and-"

"I'm never leaving this island again," he promises hoarsely. Then Mrs. Blythe and the children approach, and Diana and Fred reluctantly break apart so Fred Jr. and Anne Cordelia can tackle their father.

"Why is your arm like that?" Anne Cordelia whispers.

Fred bends down to be at eye level with his daughter. "I was hurt in the war," he explains carefully.

"Was that why you were gone so long?"

"Yes," Fred says simply, running a gentle hand over his daughter's hair. "Yes, it was, darling."

"Did you kill a lot of Germans?" Fred Jr. asks boldly, and his father tenses.

"Words cannot express how happy we are to have you home," Mrs. Blythe says, and Fred smiles gratefully at his mother-in-law for changing the subject. "Have you heard anything about Gilbert?"

Fred's smile falls. "I haven't seen or heard from him since I enlisted."

"What about Anne?" Diana asks.

"I saw her at the train station we were supposed to leave together from," he says. "But then she grabbed Dominic and ran off. I haven't seen her since."

"Dominic?"

"The child Anne surely wrote you about," he tells his wife. "The boy's mother died and his father left Anne with Dominic. We stayed in the man's old apartment in London while Anne worked at a newspaper company to raise money for our passage here." He hesitates. "Rather, _my_ passage here."

"How did you find Anne in the first place?"

"She was working with Red Cross, giving morphine to the wounded in the aid station I was in."

"Let's go inside," Mrs. Blythe says after a moment. "Dinner is on the table." As the children follow Mrs. Blythe inside, Diana takes Fred's remaining hand.

But having her husband back is not as easy as restarting a record on a gramophone player. Diana is beyond grateful to have him home, but also knows they will have to discuss his enlisting against her wishes. He also has regular nightmares starting his first night at home, the contents of which chill Diana to the bone when she asks him to explain his horrifying dreams. He starts at loud noises, jumps when doors slam, and flinches when silverware clatters against the china plates. He stops going shooting for pheasant and ducks, and burns his uniform. But he doesn't want to discuss much of anything with Diana, and even stops telling her about his nightmares. He says he doesn't want the children overhearing, but she starts wondering how much she will ever know details of his time in France. She's not sure she _wants_ to know it all.

Despite having Fred home, Diana is still not able to sleep easy knowing Gilbert and Anne are still somewhere overseas. There is talk in town that the war is coming to an end, and she prays it does before the next decade begins. And then the Great War finally ceases, and Anne and Gilbert send a wire a month later that they will be on the next ship home.

When they pick them up from the Bright River station, Diana is not able to run to meet Anne because of the weight of the next child she is carrying. But her sister-in-law sprints across the station anyway, throwing herself at Diana. Anne then launches herself at Fred as Gilbert approaches, and Diana is taken aback by his appearance.

Anne looks worn, but Gilbert looks drained, as if his time in the war has almost destroyed him. But there is still a hint of that familiar spark in his dark eyes, and Diana knows she hasn't lost him completely. She steps forward and wraps her arms around her brother, feeling his ribs through his clothes. The angle of their hug is awkward because of her newest pregnancy, but the siblings still manage to embrace each other.

"We thought you were dead," she weeps into his coat.

"I was captured by the Germans," Gilbert says into her hair. "They weren't keen on my sending letters to my sister."

A short burst of a ragged laugh that is nearly a sob spills from Diana's lips, and she clings to her brother even tighter as tears well in her eyes.

"Where's Dominic?" Fred asks, and Gilbert and Diana release each other.

"I had to leave him in an orphanage in France," Anne says. "After the war ended, Gil and I went back to find him, but the entire place was empty."

"Dominic is the son of your friend, correct?" Diana asks.

"Was," Anne replies quietly, and both she and Gilbert fall silent.

"His father, Jack Garrison, was a… friend from New York," she finally says, and lets out a mirthless laugh. "I _loathed_ him when I first met him. But the war changed everyone." She pauses. "He ended up being a good friend to the very end."

The name Jack Garrison is familiar, and Diana suddenly remembers she had heard of his adventure novels. But upon viewing her brother and sister-in-law's somber expressions, she decides not to bring it up. "Would you like to go home?"

Anne slips a hand into Gilbert's and sighs. "You don't know how long I've dreamed of being able to go back to Green Gables," she admits thickly, and her husband drops a kiss on top of her head.

* * *

In the first year of the new decade, Diana watches Anne and Gilbert drive off to the Bright River train station to fetch Dominic. As the old buggy disappears through the trees, she straightens from weeding the garden as Fred approaches, holding an empty feed pail in his hand.

"Di?"

"Yes?" his wife replies, untying the ribbon holding her straw hat in place and removing the simple headwear so different from her elaborate feather- and flower-adorned hats before the war.

"Gilbert and I talked again about you and I staying at Green Gables," Fred begins, dirt under the nails of his remaining hand as he sets down the pail.

"Well, it's high time," Diana interrupts. "We've overstayed our welcome. True, we don't have our first home or my parents' house anymore, but surely we can find something in town-"

"Diana," Fred cuts in, and she stops. "They want us to stay."

Her eyes widen. "Stay?"

He nods. "Gilbert said they've been discussing it for a while. He's always making out house calls, and she's constantly working at the schoolhouse or tutoring. He said they don't have time for the farm. And you know as well as I that they're really only here before dawn and after nightfall. But," he adds, "they can't bear to sell the place. Especially not Anne." He meets her gaze. "They want to pay us to stay on and, well, run it for them."

"We can't…"

Fred's eyes suddenly harden in a way they never did before the war. "Do you really think I can get a job somewhere else?" he asks roughly, gesturing at the remains of his right arm. "Who would hire me?"

"I don't want us to be a burden for them-"

"We are being offered a comfortable position," he interjects, "with employers who understand my… limitations. And Gilbert said they'll pay us a fair wage. It won't be like what we had before, but we don't have any other offers coming our way." He sighs. "I know farming is not what you're used to, but…"

Just then, their children's laughter comes from around the house. Fred Jr. sprints after a rooster, a grinning Anne Cordelia following her older brother while hovering over a toddling Jack Wright. As Diana listens to their peals of laughter, Fred looks at his wife. "They are _happy_ here, Di. More than they ever were in the places we lived in before."

She does not respond as she puts her wide-brimmed hat back on her head, firmly tying the ribbon under her chin.

"We will have a good life here," her husband adds gently, but suddenly, there is a loud crash from inside the barn. He flinches, tenses as the color drains from his face.

"It's alright," she says in a low voice, trying to carefully draw him out of his thoughts. "You are safe here."

As he releases a shaky breath, she thinks of the backfiring Ford Model Ts now so common on the streets, the slamming of shop doors, the raised voices of busybodies, and the general hustle and bustle of even a small town. She realizes she would rather work the earth for the rest of her life, rather than force him into a place that would constantly take him back to the war even as he stands in the safety of Avonlea.

"Let's accept."

He blinks at her, finally shaking off the cobwebs of memories. "What?"

"Let's take Gil and Anne's offer."

"You mean it?"

She nods. "I do. Fred Jr. and Jack can help with chores as they get older, and Anne Cordelia can assist me with keeping the house in shape. It might be good for them," she says as he holds out his hand.

Before the war, she would have worried about wrinkling her silk gloves; now she grasps his hand with dirt in the lines in her own palms and under her own nails and dusting her own skin.

"And for us?" Fred adds.

Diana smiles.

"And for us."

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Why on earth, in the books or otherwise, would** _ **Anne Shirley**_ **ever be willing to move from Avonlea and Green Gables _after going through World War I_? **


End file.
